News

How to make Him Propose Part 1

In my years of practice as a marriage counselor, I have come to realized that one of the major questions in the head of every single lady is the question “Will he marry me?”

The number of e-mails and text messages I get on this topic is alarming, and the most surprising ones are the ones coming from teenagers, mostly between fifteen and eighteen. They are always worried about the level of commitment of the men they are with. I get a lot of messages like this from them; Dr. Tolu, please how do I know if my boyfriend loves me? That is one kind of text message that is readily constant on my phone.

It is not in my place to crucify these teenagers, at least most of us can identify with such feelings at that age. What they need is proper counseling and guidance, but that is an article for another day. This particular one is about those whom I consider to be adults, already in a relationship and ready to settle down but are confused about whether the men are in the same pace with them.

There’s something in every woman that makes her crave for love. It is not weakness but should rather be seeing as part of the feminine beautiful nature. This explain my first paragraphs about teenager’s first reaction to love, there’s the fantasy about being the wife of this charming boy, even when they are still in high school.

There’s this common illustration I normally do whenever I go out to speak about Simbi and Ade. Ade was around 12 years old while Simbi was around 8, Simbi is this skinny young girl with puff- puff hair style walking around barefooted. Simbi likes Ade and will always beg to be his friend, however he always tells her to go and play with her mates because they are not on the same level. This always hurt Simbi and makes her very sad. “Can’t he see that I like him and want to be his friend? Cant he see that his action is making me sad?”

10 years later, Ade is now 22 and Simbi 18, they met again in the university and Simbi has become this beautiful classy babe with long hair and an attractive voice. Ade was able to recognize her and ran towards here, this time around Simbi was the one who told Ade to search for his levels as they are not in the same category. As Ade walked away, Simbi looked at herself and said, “Oh Simbi, you don suffer, so this was the guy I was crying about when I was younger.”

Lesson of the story?  Sometimes what you are dying for now isn’t worth it, the guy you are wasting all your energy on now might not be the right one for you. Whenever you saw the handwriting on the wall that the relationship is heading nowhere, it doesn’t make sense to keep building on the wrong foundation. How do you prepare your mind to search for another route when you are bent on taking the wrong door?

If you can identify with this little story or you are the type that are worried about how to take your relationship to the next level, follow me on this beautiful ride as we talk about these tested tips to make him propose:

On Part 2 we will cover 6 key points on “How to Make Him Propose”

 

Comments

  • Tanny
    Tanny
    Reply

    Thanks forthis article. Good God bless you