being yourself

The whole essence of our relationships is to find someone that can complement us, make us better and above all walk with us to a mutual destination. This week we have come up with 70 questions you need to ask yourself before saying yes to that person and if you have, it’s time to start keeping tabs on these little things. 70? Yes, 70! It will be divided into two editions, so you can’t afford to miss the next edition.

Few weeks ago I spoke to a lady who wanted to know if the current dude she was dating is the right person. The question sounded so vague and I had to pause for a few moments before responding to her. My response wasn’t an answer like she would have desired but a series of unending questions.

Similarly, there are lots of folks who have this same question on their minds; so I decided to list a few (maybe not few) questions you should ask yourself when in doubt about that relationship you’re in. There are really no right or wrong answers to these questions but then you’ll know certainly if you are in the right relationship or not after genuinely answering these questions.

1.    Has your partner discovered his/her purpose; what is your partner passionate about? No, I’m not asking if he has a job!

2.    Is your partner encouraging and supportive of what you want in life?

3.    Does your partner have a mentor; an authority figure who (s) he’s submitted to?

4.    Does she respect you?

5.    Do you feel safe around him?

6.    Are you being your authentic self around your partner?

7.    Can I express myself freely when difficult situations come up?

8.    Is he genuinely happy for me when good things happen to me?

9.    Has he ever raised his hand and threatened me?

10.    Does (s)he respect her parents and older siblings?

11.    What was your first impression about your partner?

12.    What did you like or love about your partner?

13.    Do you still like what you loved about your partner and why?

14.    Are you happy with the intimacy you share?

15.    Are you in the relationship because you’re desperate to get married?

16.    Do you feel the same the way you felt for your partner at the beginning of the relationship?

17.    Are you positively affecting each other’s life?

18.    Are you having fun with your partner?

19.    Do I like who I am when I’m with and without him?

20.    Do I feel uplifted or drained when we’re together?

21.    Can I live with his quirky behaviors and traits?

22.    Do I like him the way he is if he never changes?

23.    Do you share similar core values with your partner?

24.    Do you share similar religious views?

25.    Do you respect each other’s beliefs?

26.    What new things have you gotten involved in because of your partner’s influence?

27.    Ladies; does he make you cry too often that you probably don’t remember times you laughed together

28.    Do you like spending time with your partner’s friends and family?

29.    Do my family and friends like my partner?

30.    Do I like my partner’s family and friends?

TO BE CONTINUED- By Motolani Olanipekun