matchmaking – Intimate Match Making

HOW I STARTED INTIMATE MATCH

6 Comments / Articles / By intimatesolution

Uncle Raymond(not real name)!, that was Rose’s (not real name) brother, calling Raymond as if they have known for years, it was Rose’s and Raymond’s wedding. When i saw the bond between the two families, my mind flashed back to how they met.

I have been practicing as a relationship and marriage counselor for three years before i met Rose, the thought of being a matchmaker never crossed my mind. One Tuesday afternoon, She walked into my office with her mouth, being the usual sanguine she is, Aunty Tolu, your office is chilling o, what do you have for your girl today, she said in her usual bubbling way. There’s never a dull moment with Rose.

Rose came to my office three months earlier for relationship counseling, she’s beautiful, Godly, brilliant, intelligent, hardworking and friendly. She came to find out why she was single against her wish at 31, considering all the beautiful attributes she has (if you are in Rose’s shoe currently, seeking counseling won’t be a bad idea.). After psychoanalysis, it wasn’t long for me to find out why Rose was single against her wish, she broke down into tears and said, ‘i wish i have met you like seven years ago’.

We were able to work on some issues she has and Rose became a regular caller in my office, sometimes she will pay for a session just to pour her heart, and at other times, she will stop by as a sister, Rose put me in a tight corner of ‘boundary crossing’ in counseling practice, because i have to perform a ‘dual role’ of a counselor and a sister to her, but, sincerely i love having her around. One fateful afternoon, she stopped by a usual……..

Rose: ehn ehn, aunty Tolu, who was that fine guy i saw working out of your office just now, that guy looks cool and smells so nice as well.
Me: Oh, you saw him, he’s a client
Rose: A client, what could be bothering such a cool guy
Me: People don’t see counselors only when they are bothered, sometimes they just want to talk
Rose: So what does he came to talk about
Me: did you just asked me that Rose? (looking at her with the corner of my eyes)
Rose: Okay, okay, confidentiality……. I know you will never say a word….. (she sighed)
Rose: Aunty Tolu, but i think i like that guy o, is she married? (a long silence)
(I then considered why the guy in question came for counseling…)
Me: Come to think of it, i think you guys will be good together o.

The rest is history…… Its 6 years now and we have been having weddings non stop. The desire to see people happy, passion for what i do and Roses’s and Raymond’s union made me to start matchmaking services. The feelings that i get when i see couples i matched getting married cannot be explained, the overwhelming emotions, tears of joy and beautiful adrenalin are always part of me whenever i go for such occasions. Its a pity our society hasn’t developed to a level where i can be posting pictures of couples i matched, as people still have certain ignorant reservations about matchmaking, but the fact remains that bridging gaps for people who want to settle down, for me, its a calling.

Are you still in the school of thought that says matchmaking means you’re helping God? As a matter of fact, matchmaking started in the bible. Genesis chapter 24 describes the first matchmaking mentioned in the Bible. Abraham chose his loyal and trustworthy servant Eliezer for the task of choosing a wife for his beloved son, Isaac. There are so many reasons why people talk to matchmakers, busy schedule, male/female dominated work environment, strict upbringing, better choice, etc. Talking to a matchmaker doesn’t mean you are cheap or timid, its just another avenue to meet someone, just as you do in your place of worship, supermarkets, offices, buses etc.

As a matter of fact, in African culture, no one get married without being introduced by family members or the parents. Matchmaking is Biblical, Cultural and helpful, in fact people are currently meeting online than in real life now.

Intimate Match started out of passion to help those who are single against their wish, we just want to bridge the gap and offer result oriented professional services that people will be willing to trust.

So, are you single and searching? motivated by Rose’s and Raymond’s story, single against your wish and want to settle down on time? Join the moving train, register with the most reliable, genuine and dependable matchmaker in Nigeria. Intimate Match is the only Matchmaking company in Nigeria with a face behind the scene, We don’t give false hope, but walk with you till the wedding bell rings!

Register at: www.intimatematchmaking.com, call our Hotline: +2348184575377 or Visit our office: Intimacy Center 135, Ogunlana Drive, Surulere Lagos (By Masha bus stop).

RELATIONSHIP CHECKLIST

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The whole essence of our relationships is to find someone that can complement us, make us better and above all walk with us to a mutual destination. This week we have come up with 70 questions you need to ask yourself before saying yes to that person and if you have, it’s time to start keeping tabs on these little things. 70? Yes, 70! It will be divided into two editions, so you can’t afford to miss the next edition.

Few weeks ago I spoke to a lady who wanted to know if the current dude she was dating is the right person. The question sounded so vague and I had to pause for a few moments before responding to her. My response wasn’t an answer like she would have desired but a series of unending questions.

Similarly, there are lots of folks who have this same question on their minds; so I decided to list a few (maybe not few) questions you should ask yourself when in doubt about that relationship you’re in. There are really no right or wrong answers to these questions but then you’ll know certainly if you are in the right relationship or not after genuinely answering these questions.

1. Has your partner discovered his/her purpose; what is your partner passionate about? No, I’m not asking if he has a job!

2. Is your partner encouraging and supportive of what you want in life?

3. Does your partner have a mentor; an authority figure who (s) he’s submitted to?

4. Does she respect you?

5. Do you feel safe around him?

6. Are you being your authentic self around your partner?

7. Can I express myself freely when difficult situations come up?

8. Is he genuinely happy for me when good things happen to me?

9. Has he ever raised his hand and threatened me?

10. Does (s)he respect her parents and older siblings?

11. What was your first impression about your partner?

12. What did you like or love about your partner?

13. Do you still like what you loved about your partner and why?

14. Are you happy with the intimacy you share?

15. Are you in the relationship because you’re desperate to get married?

16. Do you feel the same the way you felt for your partner at the beginning of the relationship?

17. Are you positively affecting each other’s life?

18. Are you having fun with your partner?

19. Do I like who I am when I’m with and without him?

20. Do I feel uplifted or drained when we’re together?

21. Can I live with his quirky behaviors and traits?

22. Do I like him the way he is if he never changes?

23. Do you share similar core values with your partner?

24. Do you share similar religious views?

25. Do you respect each other’s beliefs?

26. What new things have you gotten involved in because of your partner’s influence?

27. Ladies; does he make you cry too often that you probably don’t remember times you laughed together

28. Do you like spending time with your partner’s friends and family?

29. Do my family and friends like my partner?

30. Do I like my partner’s family and friends?

TO BE CONTINUED- By Motolani Olanipekun

THE BEST PLACE TO GET A GOOD WIFE IS IN A MATCHMAKER’S OFFICE.

2 Comments / Uncategorized / By intimatesolution

You might disagreed with me when I talked about chasing a good woman instead of chasing money, but have you ever considered the life of a rich man with a bad wife? Is there any peace of mind or stable life for a man who is married to a troublesome woman?

Your marriage is your life. To some extent, getting it wrong/right determines how the journey of your life will end. In my years of practice as a matchmaker, I have noticed that the “good girls” are majorly the ones finding it difficult to get married. This is because, men want to make money before getting married, and when they “get any woman I want after making money”, like they always say, its usually the ‘bad girls.’

These are girls you will always find with guys who have money to throw around, the good girls won’t run after money and will not want to send the wrong signal of marrying a man because of his money.

So, most time, the ‘bad girls’ are the first to get married, because they are readily available, they are not worried about virtues or keeping virginity. They will follow men just because of their money and they readily understand the cunning skills to keep their men for life.

This explains why we have so many troubled marriages these days, women marrying for wrong reasons, and the men falling preys by making themselves available for such women.

This also explains why I have graduates, homely, internationally trained good girls with good jobs who are virgins, still trying to get married. You dont believe me right? Because you believe all women wants money, I have 27, 30, 33, 40 and even 41 years old virgins, and so what? These are exceptional ladies whose values cannot be bought with money.

WHY MOST MARRIAGES DON’T LAST – PART 1

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Why Most Marriages Don’t Last? Part 1
It is sometime confusing or should I say amazing when one considers the high number of marriages recorded all over the world every week. Yet, every week in different parts of the world and different jurisdictions, we have as much numbers of divorce suits filed in different cadres of courts.
Marriage has been defined as a relationship between Husband and Wife. It has also been defined as a union of a Man and Woman who have agreed to be bound together as husband and wife. Being curious, the second definition in particular referred to man and woman. This definition simply prompted my thought in the direction of whether gay marriage same sex marriage is permissible or should exist at all. However, that is a topic for another day.
I researched carefully and ‘unfortunately’ I could not see my desired definition of Marriage which would have been simply put thus: ‘A marriage is a union of a couple who were inspired by deep love and affection and chose to be united as husband and wife’. If my expectation of what marriage should mean or how it should be defined is too ambitious, then, I therefore have no option than to restrict myself to the definition as prescribed by the undisputed wise men of history. The issue therefore is: Why are most marriages short-lived? The answer is multi-dimensional and shall be x-rayed under the two headings of Primary and Secondary Causes: I shall deal 1st with primary causes:

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The 1st primary cause of a short-lived marriage could be attributed to the missing phrase in the definition of Marriage – True Love. Research has shown that many marriages failed because of the sudden disappearance of love between the couples. A true love does not fade, therefore cannot disappear. Many people go into relationship claiming to be in love mainly because of an attraction; it could be combination of some or any of the following: good looks, riches, fame, brilliance, or position. It is only commonsensical that none of the foregoing could be said to breed true love, rather it can only encourage likeness. There was a genuine feeling, but there was no genuine love. Most of the attributes enumerated above can only encourage serious likeness but definitely not love. It takes more than physical attraction or endowment or position in life for true love to develop. Love is more spiritual, it does not develop overnight, it grows gradually and it is more empirical than assumption. Likeness is often mistaken for Love and the couples with erroneous proclamation of love for each other hastily get married. The consequence of such anomaly is regular misunderstandings and inability to tolerate each other and ultimately, the couple after a couple of months or years of managing the union will get frustrated and follow different paths.
Another reason for a short-lived marriage could be total lack of feelings. This kind of situation arises where the marriage is a Marriage of Convenience. Marriage of convenience is aimed at satisfying a certain need of either or both couple. In this situation, it is not just that there is no love, but there is also absence of emotional feelings. It could be an imposition by parents or guardian or by voluntary contraction. It is a marriage that survives only on toleration. Sometimes it lasts forever, where it lasts long, and the couple lives a miserable life of trying to manage and make the marriage work; but most times the marriage collapse midway.
To be continued: In the next edition, I’ll delve further on other causes of short-lived marriage.
Ade Adegbite.

STYLE MISTAKES THAT AGE YOU

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Sometimes we do more harm than good all in the name of fashion. Have you ever noticed people calling you by your names when you actually expect them to call you aunty or brother as we do in this part of the world? The reason is not far fetched, its because you actually look younger than your age. The opposite is the case for people who make style mistakes that makes them look older than their age.

Sometimes getting the right person to approach you or give you audience might be difficult if they can’t guess your age correctly. Changing up your look through fashion and beauty choices is fun, but there are some mistakes we all make that actually cause us to look OLDER than we are.

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1.Over curly Weave on: As much as this might make you look beautiful, it will add some years to your age if care is not taken, a very straight long hair is it, if you want to look younger or be addressed your age.

2. Dark lipstick – Deep shades make any surface look smaller, and that includes lips. Opt for a brighter color and/or a hint of gloss–it will make your pucker seem fuller and more youthful.

3. Too-sleek hairstyles – This can make your face look drawn and emphasize every pore, wrinkle, and imperfection. Try a more textured, looser option–a loosely pulled-back ‘do takes five years off your face! Also, keep in mind that helmet-headed updos can be disastrously aging. Stay away from too-voluminous bouffants.

4. Overly flat shoes: High heels are the real deal! we all knows that aged people dont wear heels, if you want to look young and more elegant consider learning how to wear classy heels.

5. Cakey foundation – Heavy foundation sticks to and emphasizes wrinkles. Who wants that? Choose a tinted moisturizer instead. Once applied, take a damp sponge to noticeably wrinkled areas. It will remove any excess foundation!

6. Oversize Clothes- Wearing clothes that swallows you up will make you look older than your age. Its sad to know that some people doesn’t know the kind of clothes that suits their body shape. Its not a crime to look sexy and flaunts what you have, it becomes an issue when you expose your body.

7. Lower lash mascara – This packs a double aging whammy by bringing attention to crows feet and making eyes appear smaller and more tired. Instead, curl only your top lashes and apply the blackest mascara you can find–it will bring out the whites of your eyes while making them look bigger.

8.Short necklaces – Chokers are a bad move as they bring attention to your neck–an area that begins to show aging early on. Bring the focus down with a long necklace which will elongate both your neck and your figure for an all-around slimming look.

9. Over-concealing dark circles – We’re all guilty of this one, guys. We want to hide those bags and under eye circles, and sometimes we get carried away. Take it down a notch with a light concealer, applied with a brush only to the dark spots–not the WHOLE under eye.