relationshiptips – Intimate Match Making

LOOK…..LEAP…..SHINE YOUR EYES: LEARN FROM MY STORY

Leave a Comment / Articles / By intimatesolution

I ran inside to see if my makeover was perfect. Of course it was but I had to put one more layer of my brown powder just to be sure. Excitement was running through every nook and cranny of my vein. I stood for a while in front of the mirror to make sure my excitement and anxiety hadn’t allowed me make mistakes in applying my makeup. I was about to apply more shimmer on my lips when I heard a sudden blare from a car’s horn just outside my hostel. My heart raced twice as fast as I realized who it was. I had been looking forward for a long time to that day and I didn’t want anything to mess it up. I didn’t want something ephemeral, so I filled in every possible loop hole and no sooner did I decide I was good to go than I took my purse and left the room.

I met Daniel on Instagram and somehow we got very close such that we couldn’t do without each other every day. As time went on we decided to start dating online, because he was out of the country and we couldn’t wait to take our initial friendship to another level. So like that it started. He sent me a lot of things from Canada and he made me feel like I was the queen of the earth especially the queen of his heart. He was the perfect guy for me, he had no flaw or so I said and he was the best thing that happened me. It got me thinking, if he could have been like that even when he was away, what was he going to be like when I can finally hold him. I mean, when we are finally in each other’s arms. This was the major thing that got me more excited about the whole online relationship thingy. It was like having a whole package, wrapped up in such a way that from the view of the parcel you can be almost sure what is inside would be incredible. I had seen him in pictures yes, but believe me the picture was only a silhouette to what he really looked like.

As I got to the corridor to my room and I was able to view his car, my heart raced on a speedy count. Once he sighted me, he got down from his car and opened the door for me, believe me I was very flattered. I got into the car and so did he. OMG!, he was really cute. He took me out to dinner as he promised and it turned out to be the most romantic moment of my life. After dinner he asked me if I wanted to follow him to his house. Meanwhile, I was dying to be in his arms, I was anxious to experience what it would be like if I was with him over the night. It wasn’t a big deal to pass the night at his place though, because he was my boy friend, so I thought.

When we got to his apartment, it was past midnight. The house and the design it carried justified Daniel to be an epicurean. It also had a great view and it was like the more I was in the house, the more luxury was sinking into my skin. I couldn’t wait to tell my friends about him already, because they didn’t have as much as a clue about my relationship and I preferred to make it stay that way until I was sure he was real. We had a bubble bath and we went to bed. I believe you can imagine what happened that night. Of course yes we had crazy sex. I went from loving him to being obsessed. I stayed with him for a few more days and he proposed to me. He said he was going to marry me in the next two months to that time. Isn’t it poetic or what do you think?

After one week, I went back to my hostel and my friends were bent on knowing where I had been. I told them it was my little secret and I wasn’t letting them in on it. So I still kept it secret. On and on like that it went. We had sex like every other day, and I wasn’t complaining because we were going to get married. He promised to take me to his parents very soon so we could make it formal. I was excited; people noticed something about me had changed. I was practically glowing with pride.

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One fateful afternoon…..I was reading on my bed in my hostel when Anita (my roommate) came to me and sat beside me. She asked me calmly what had been going on in my life and why I was keeping so quiet about it. So I decided to confide in her. I told her everything about him, but when I got to the part where I mentioned his name, she jolted up and stared wide eyed. “What!” she almost screamed “Sarah, which Daniel Akingbade are you talking about?” the expression on my face changed, I was confused plus surprised that she knew him. “Abegi, let me see his picture”. I fumbled with my phone more because I was scared about what was about to come than I was about the eagerness to show his picture. I went to my photo gallery and fished out his picture. “here, please don’t tell me you know him” I knew it’s going to be bad luck for me if she knew him, so I prayed silently that she didn’t have as much as a clue. She took the phone from me and started laughing her ass out. “Anita be serious jor”. She paused, looked at me and burst out into another series of laughter. “Ok, ok… let me be serious.”

She looked at the phone again as if to be sure about who was in the picture. Then she said “ahn ahn, he’s the one now.” She looked at me, pressed her lips together and asked again “Sarah, are you sure he said he was going to marry you next month? “Anita please stop this and tell me what is wrong” I said curiously. “Sarah this man I’m starring at right now is married with a kid, he got married three years back to my aunt, although I’ve never met him before, because he and my aunt are abroad, but I see his pictures a lot”. My hand started shaking; it was as if I didn’t hear her right. I fought back tears and told myself I was strong enough for it. I was choked up with mixed feelings. I didn’t know even how to cry. I was being used and believe me it was a big deal. Starting from the thoughts of how he caresses me with sweet words to how he got me laid. It was crazy, it was embarrassing and at the same time tear-full. I was angry as revenge took over my mind. There was no way he was going to go Scot free with it. I decided!!!

I had no idea what to do, I didn’t know whether to confront him, or just let him go. But really, do you think there’s anything you can do to guys like that?, do they always have to go away with something like this, it’s like in the world we are today, they actually do get away with it. The girl becomes the victim and then stays on a low key till karma takes its place in the situation. I didn’t want to wait for karma, I wanted to literally kill him or if there was anything worse than that I’d gladly do it.

After a lot of tears and consolation from my friends, I pulled myself together and was even able to see him the next day. Our meeting was very brief as I didn’t discuss anything with him or make him suspect anything. All through the previous night I was thinking about a way of getting back at him for everything he had done. And I figured it out easily.
I was known to be a very crazy girl and I could do the impossible. So, that fateful afternoon I was in his house, playing with him as though I was perfectly cool with him. But my mission was the otherwise of my attitude. I was there to teach him an incredible lesson, a lesson he’ll forever live to remember.

I played with him for a long time and as he told me he wanted to get something outside I knew that was my opportunity. Once he was out of the house, I reached into his bedside drawer and got hold of his token and replaced it with an identical one, I immediately slipped it in my hand bag and quickly adjusted myself on his bed like nothing had happened. Another minute ran by before he came in, he smiled at me and asked if I didn’t miss him too much and I smiled sweetly back at him and told him I had missed him. I know this is weird, but I had sex with him for the last time that day, and I intentionally satisfied myself to the maximum height.
It was time to go and he dropped me off in my hostel.

Here comes the happiest day of my life people. The next day, I took the token to one of my friend that is an expert in computer hacking. He didn’t take him very long to decipher his password and was able to wipe out his account, transferred every dime in it to a new account I opened for that purpose, using a different name and in a different bank everything I transferred summed up to 17million Naira, I know, chicken change right? But believe me it wasn’t a chicken change when Daniel was begging the whole world for money to return to Canada. All traces were perfectly cleared and the token was destroyed almost immediately. I gave my friend his share, and I went back to my hostel dancing with joy in my heart.
Believe me, Daniel was stranded, I jilted him immediately using his brokenness as my leverage, telling him I can’t walk him with anymore. It was really sweet to see him that way, and you might not believe this but I was proud of myself. Nobody knew about this, even Anita.
So that’s my little gist for you.

Seriously though, I did learn my lesson to look and leap. No matter how interesting this may sound, I didn’t leave that relationship unscarred. In the deep corners of my mind, I felt used and humiliated. I had sacrificed almost everything I had to this relationship. A man I completely trusted and believed loved me deeply. I was ready to marry this man, basing all my life on the emotions I felt. This is my story, it might come across as a positive ending for some, but we aren’t all that lucky.

Take your time to know that individual, before committing your whole life into it. It’s totally worth the wait.

ANJOLA JUMOKE

RELATIONSHIP CHECKLIST

Leave a Comment / Articles / By intimatesolution

The whole essence of our relationships is to find someone that can complement us, make us better and above all walk with us to a mutual destination. This week we have come up with 70 questions you need to ask yourself before saying yes to that person and if you have, it’s time to start keeping tabs on these little things. 70? Yes, 70! It will be divided into two editions, so you can’t afford to miss the next edition.

Few weeks ago I spoke to a lady who wanted to know if the current dude she was dating is the right person. The question sounded so vague and I had to pause for a few moments before responding to her. My response wasn’t an answer like she would have desired but a series of unending questions.

Similarly, there are lots of folks who have this same question on their minds; so I decided to list a few (maybe not few) questions you should ask yourself when in doubt about that relationship you’re in. There are really no right or wrong answers to these questions but then you’ll know certainly if you are in the right relationship or not after genuinely answering these questions.

1. Has your partner discovered his/her purpose; what is your partner passionate about? No, I’m not asking if he has a job!

2. Is your partner encouraging and supportive of what you want in life?

3. Does your partner have a mentor; an authority figure who (s) he’s submitted to?

4. Does she respect you?

5. Do you feel safe around him?

6. Are you being your authentic self around your partner?

7. Can I express myself freely when difficult situations come up?

8. Is he genuinely happy for me when good things happen to me?

9. Has he ever raised his hand and threatened me?

10. Does (s)he respect her parents and older siblings?

11. What was your first impression about your partner?

12. What did you like or love about your partner?

13. Do you still like what you loved about your partner and why?

14. Are you happy with the intimacy you share?

15. Are you in the relationship because you’re desperate to get married?

16. Do you feel the same the way you felt for your partner at the beginning of the relationship?

17. Are you positively affecting each other’s life?

18. Are you having fun with your partner?

19. Do I like who I am when I’m with and without him?

20. Do I feel uplifted or drained when we’re together?

21. Can I live with his quirky behaviors and traits?

22. Do I like him the way he is if he never changes?

23. Do you share similar core values with your partner?

24. Do you share similar religious views?

25. Do you respect each other’s beliefs?

26. What new things have you gotten involved in because of your partner’s influence?

27. Ladies; does he make you cry too often that you probably don’t remember times you laughed together

28. Do you like spending time with your partner’s friends and family?

29. Do my family and friends like my partner?

30. Do I like my partner’s family and friends?

TO BE CONTINUED- By Motolani Olanipekun

THE BEST PLACE TO GET A GOOD WIFE IS IN A MATCHMAKER’S OFFICE.

2 Comments / Uncategorized / By intimatesolution

You might disagreed with me when I talked about chasing a good woman instead of chasing money, but have you ever considered the life of a rich man with a bad wife? Is there any peace of mind or stable life for a man who is married to a troublesome woman?

Your marriage is your life. To some extent, getting it wrong/right determines how the journey of your life will end. In my years of practice as a matchmaker, I have noticed that the “good girls” are majorly the ones finding it difficult to get married. This is because, men want to make money before getting married, and when they “get any woman I want after making money”, like they always say, its usually the ‘bad girls.’

These are girls you will always find with guys who have money to throw around, the good girls won’t run after money and will not want to send the wrong signal of marrying a man because of his money.

So, most time, the ‘bad girls’ are the first to get married, because they are readily available, they are not worried about virtues or keeping virginity. They will follow men just because of their money and they readily understand the cunning skills to keep their men for life.

This explains why we have so many troubled marriages these days, women marrying for wrong reasons, and the men falling preys by making themselves available for such women.

This also explains why I have graduates, homely, internationally trained good girls with good jobs who are virgins, still trying to get married. You dont believe me right? Because you believe all women wants money, I have 27, 30, 33, 40 and even 41 years old virgins, and so what? These are exceptional ladies whose values cannot be bought with money.

MARRIAGE, WHAT HAS AGE GOT TO DO WITH IT?

Leave a Comment / Articles / By intimatesolution

WHAT HAS AGE GOT TO DO WITH THIS?
Age is one of the factor that need to be considered when choosing a life partners especially in this part of the world, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that the success of such relationship depends on age factor. If we say age is just a number , we wont be far from the truth and if we also says it matters, its not false as well. Research show that women who marrieds men who are a little bit older than them enjoy more tolerance, understanding and affection from such men, even though this might not be in all cases. Success in marriage depends largely on the level of understanding between couples as well as compatibility, Even if the wife is younger and there’s no understanding, that marriage might crash.

Just like i stated earlier, significantly older men tends to be more tolerance and could be more possessive sometimes as well. One cannot state the benefits and disadvantages categorically, but these few are trends that are common to such relationships/marriage:

Older men tends to be more tolerance and caring
Older men tend to be more possessive
Most time older women are more financially stable
Its difficult to command the needed respect to boost a man’s ego from an older woman in most cases.
There will be serious hurdles to cross in form of friends and family interference.

Marrying someone with significant age differences shouldn’t be a big deal, at least its not in the developed world, but the fact remains that African has not developed to that level, a lot of people will frown at it and mount pressure that might start choking the relationship/marriage.

To enter into this kind of relationship/marriage, there are few questions one should ask:

What is the motive? Are you entering that relationship because you are in love and will like to spend the resort of your life with that man/woman or you are doing it for material gain. If the motive is wrong the marriage will not survive. If the foundation be destroyed, what can anyone do?
Are you ready to live with the consequences of your action? If you find yourself in a function where your friends spouses are almost their age, will you still be happy to flaunt your partner without feeling ashamed. You must be ready to stand by your decisions and see your choice as the best irrespective of what anyone thinks or says, if not there will be crises.
Culturally or religiously speaking, the man remains the head of the family and not the other way round, as a woman, if you are dating or marrying a younger man, are you willing to respect him irrespective?

When it comes to the issue of ideal age gap between partners, there’s no one size fits all, or one age fits all. What works for couple A might not work for couple B, in as much as there is understanding and compatibility age remains a factor. But one should also consider the number of years especially when the older is a woman, 10 years and above might be way to high for a man who wants to be respected by his wife, even in the developed world, some people will still frown at outrageous age gap in such cases.

I always counsel couples in this situation that they should keep their little secret to themselves as much as possible, the less people that knows about their age differences the better for them. Having a wonderful marriage is not age dependent though it could be a factor, what matters is compatibility, understanding and the determination to make it work.

STYLE MISTAKES THAT AGE YOU

Leave a Comment / Articles / By intimatesolution

Sometimes we do more harm than good all in the name of fashion. Have you ever noticed people calling you by your names when you actually expect them to call you aunty or brother as we do in this part of the world? The reason is not far fetched, its because you actually look younger than your age. The opposite is the case for people who make style mistakes that makes them look older than their age.

Sometimes getting the right person to approach you or give you audience might be difficult if they can’t guess your age correctly. Changing up your look through fashion and beauty choices is fun, but there are some mistakes we all make that actually cause us to look OLDER than we are.

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1.Over curly Weave on: As much as this might make you look beautiful, it will add some years to your age if care is not taken, a very straight long hair is it, if you want to look younger or be addressed your age.

2. Dark lipstick – Deep shades make any surface look smaller, and that includes lips. Opt for a brighter color and/or a hint of gloss–it will make your pucker seem fuller and more youthful.

3. Too-sleek hairstyles – This can make your face look drawn and emphasize every pore, wrinkle, and imperfection. Try a more textured, looser option–a loosely pulled-back ‘do takes five years off your face! Also, keep in mind that helmet-headed updos can be disastrously aging. Stay away from too-voluminous bouffants.

4. Overly flat shoes: High heels are the real deal! we all knows that aged people dont wear heels, if you want to look young and more elegant consider learning how to wear classy heels.

5. Cakey foundation – Heavy foundation sticks to and emphasizes wrinkles. Who wants that? Choose a tinted moisturizer instead. Once applied, take a damp sponge to noticeably wrinkled areas. It will remove any excess foundation!

6. Oversize Clothes- Wearing clothes that swallows you up will make you look older than your age. Its sad to know that some people doesn’t know the kind of clothes that suits their body shape. Its not a crime to look sexy and flaunts what you have, it becomes an issue when you expose your body.

7. Lower lash mascara – This packs a double aging whammy by bringing attention to crows feet and making eyes appear smaller and more tired. Instead, curl only your top lashes and apply the blackest mascara you can find–it will bring out the whites of your eyes while making them look bigger.

8.Short necklaces – Chokers are a bad move as they bring attention to your neck–an area that begins to show aging early on. Bring the focus down with a long necklace which will elongate both your neck and your figure for an all-around slimming look.

9. Over-concealing dark circles – We’re all guilty of this one, guys. We want to hide those bags and under eye circles, and sometimes we get carried away. Take it down a notch with a light concealer, applied with a brush only to the dark spots–not the WHOLE under eye.