wedding

HOW I STARTED INTIMATE MATCH

Uncle Raymond(not real name)!, that was Rose’s (not real name) brother, calling Raymond as if they have known for years, it was Rose’s and Raymond’s wedding. When i saw the bond between the two families, my mind flashed back to how they met.

I have been practicing as a relationship and marriage counselor for three years before i met Rose, the thought of being a matchmaker never crossed my mind. One Tuesday afternoon, She walked into my office with her mouth, being the usual sanguine she is, Aunty Tolu, your office is chilling o, what do you have for your girl today, she said in her usual bubbling way. There’s never a dull moment with Rose.

Rose came to my office three months earlier for relationship counseling, she’s beautiful, Godly, brilliant, intelligent, hardworking and friendly. She came to find out why she was single against her wish at 31, considering all the beautiful attributes she has (if you are in Rose’s shoe currently, seeking counseling won’t be a bad idea.). After psychoanalysis, it wasn’t long for me to find out why Rose was single against her wish, she broke down into tears and said, ‘i wish i have met you like seven years ago’.

We were able to work on some issues she has and Rose became a regular caller in my office, sometimes she will pay for a session just to pour her heart, and at other times, she will stop by as a sister, Rose put me in a tight corner of ‘boundary crossing’ in counseling practice, because i have to perform a ‘dual role’ of a counselor and a sister to her, but, sincerely i love having her around. One fateful afternoon, she stopped by a usual……..

Rose: ehn ehn, aunty Tolu, who was that fine guy i saw working out of your office just now, that guy looks cool and smells so nice as well.
Me: Oh, you saw him, he’s a client
Rose: A client, what could be bothering such a cool guy
Me: People don’t see counselors only when they are bothered, sometimes they just want to talk
Rose: So what does he came to talk about
Me: did you just asked me that Rose? (looking at her with the corner of my eyes)
Rose: Okay, okay, confidentiality……. I know you will never say a word….. (she sighed)
Rose: Aunty Tolu, but i think i like that guy o, is she married? (a long silence)
(I then considered why the guy in question came for counseling…)
Me: Come to think of it, i think you guys will be good together o.

The rest is history…… Its 6 years now and we have been having weddings non stop. The desire to see people happy, passion for what i do and Roses’s and Raymond’s union made me to start matchmaking services. The feelings that i get when i see couples i matched getting married cannot be explained, the overwhelming emotions, tears of joy and beautiful adrenalin are always part of me whenever i go for such occasions. Its a pity our society hasn’t developed to a level where i can be posting pictures of couples i matched, as people still have certain ignorant reservations about matchmaking, but the fact remains that bridging gaps for people who want to settle down, for me, its a calling.

Are you still in the school of thought that says matchmaking means you’re helping God? As a matter of fact, matchmaking started in the bible. Genesis chapter 24 describes the first matchmaking mentioned in the Bible. Abraham chose his loyal and trustworthy servant Eliezer for the task of choosing a wife for his beloved son, Isaac. There are so many reasons why people talk to matchmakers, busy schedule, male/female dominated work environment, strict upbringing, better choice, etc. Talking to a matchmaker doesn’t mean you are cheap or timid, its just another avenue to meet someone, just as you do in your place of worship, supermarkets, offices, buses etc.

As a matter of fact, in African culture, no one get married without being introduced by family members or the parents. Matchmaking is Biblical, Cultural and helpful, in fact people are currently meeting online than in real life now.

Intimate Match started out of passion to help those who are single against their wish, we just want to bridge the gap and offer result oriented professional services that people will be willing to trust.

So, are you single and searching? motivated by Rose’s and Raymond’s story, single against your wish and want to settle down on time? Join the moving train, register with the most reliable, genuine and dependable matchmaker in Nigeria. Intimate Match is the only Matchmaking company in Nigeria with a face behind the scene, We don’t give false hope, but walk with you till the wedding bell rings!

Register at: www.intimatematchmaking.com, call our Hotline: +2348184575377 or Visit our office: Intimacy Center 135, Ogunlana Drive, Surulere Lagos (By Masha bus stop).

MERCY JOHNSON PRAYS FOR HAPPILY EVER AFTER

The beautiful and curvy Mercy Jhonson Okojie took to her Instagram page to send an adorable birthday message to her husband.

Intimate Solution wish you a beautiful marriage full of love and happiness just as you desired. Read her heart touching and loving message….

mercy johnson husband matching outfit

“Odi ur so oooo shy but: I Love d way u pick Angel at night and drop her in her crib each time I put her in the middle of the bed as an obstacle cus am upset.I love the way u whisper in her ears,saying”Angel go to ur crib and don’t put Asunder I love d way u increase the AC ,Snatch the blanket and 30mins later you grab me and say”u too vex,aren’t you Cold? I love the way you say,I play too much. I love d way you chastise me after cooking by saying”my love salt pass this food but e sweet” I can go on and on Thank you baby,the kids go to bed Happy and wake up smiling.even they know, that Daddy loves Mummy. Ur birthday is close and I don’t know what to say or how to show that you are the Very Air I breath. No one has an assurance of Happily ever after but I beg God to please Help me and lets stay this way forever. Pray for me Friends cus with Him is where I would rather be. #hubbysbirthdayloading#thankyoulord#papapurity#

ALLIBABA’S TAKE ON SHODDY REASONS WHY PEOPLE DATE

Veteran comedian Alibaba has a message for women who think men are a financial plan and men who share the same thoughts.

Read below and share your thoughts:

This is what I should have sent to that extremely pretty lady I met in a Governor’s Lodge, in Abuja in 2009. When I say she was a beauty… I mean finer than Bianca OJUKWU. And as we got gisting and waited for Our Excellency to attend to us, she revealed that she had a 2.1 in Microbiology.

At the time, I was a brand ambassador for Chivita (Hollandia). So I asked if she would like to work with Chivita. So I could call Mr BERI. She stood up and said “Why would I go and work with this kind of body?”

I then asked why she studied so hard to make 2.1 and end up not wanting to work. She said “Bros, if them tell you say I study, so you go believe?”… she then dropped the bomb. She is not looking for a job. She is looking for a rich boy from a wealthy home, marry him, have kids, and if he misbehaves… “he go settle me and i go just waka”.

I am bringing this up now, because after her, in the last 6 years, I have met Many young ladies with that mind set. The underlying philosophy with this mindset is that the lady believes a guy holds the key to all her aspirations.

Sadly, some guys think like that too. This kind of thinking is why some ladies can not leave abusive relationships. They would rather bear the inhuman treatment than to be free of the abuse and face life on their own.

The 10 Commandments of Online Dating

Finding the right romantic partner often seems like looking for piece of hay in a large stack of needles: a painful process with somewhat disappointing rewards. Online dating eliminates the need to get dressed up, musked up and out there – but that doesn’t mean there isn’t etiquette to follow. Just like in the real world you’ll need to come across as charming, polite and desirable, and just like in the real world a little bit of knowledge can make the process a whole lot easier. So today we’ll show you ten fundamentals every online dater should take as gospel.

1. Thou Shalt Stand Out From The Crowd

A catchy title and some more unusual interests can go a long way. Spend a few minutes coming up with a decent profile that shows you as witty and unique instead of joining the legions who give as their only interests ‘TV, music and film’. Surely you can’t be that boring? Be careful though, being too alternative may come across as weird and limit your pool of potential partners.

Mr. Right: ‘When I’m not flying my helicopter or giving guided tours of the Vatican, I like to go off-piste skiing – but I always try to make time for my charity work in Patagonia.’

Mr. Wrong: ‘I like watching TV. I also like lifting up rocks to look at the insects underneath.’

2. Thou Shalt Not Display Thy Baggage
A lot of online daters have baggage from their past – this may be anything from kids to a psycho-ex who stalks them, or perhaps even a full sex change. Don’t put off potential suitors by placing this baggage in full view of everyone: give people a chance to get to know you before you let them decide whether the fact you only have four toes on one foot is an obstacle to love.

Mr. Right: ‘I’m open minded middle-age man hoping to meet someone similar.’

Mr. Wrong: ‘Please ignore my ex who will leave road kill on your doorstep and vandalise your car if you date me. By the way I have a glass eye.’

3. Thou Shalt Post A Photo That Honours Thy True Appearance.
We all do it: posing for photos and then selecting the ones that show us in our best light – and there’s nothing wrong with it. However, if you’re photoshopping your image before posting it or even using an image of someone else, you’ve definitely crossed the line.

Mr. Right: ‘I think I look pretty good in this one.’

Mr. Wrong: ‘Brad Pitt from a weird angle – she’ll never know.’

4. Thou Shalt Be Fully Proactive
There are plenty of potential partners out there waiting for you, but just like in real life competition is stiff. To maximise you chances target as many people as possible and try not to get hung-up on that one girl who used to be a playboy bunny – every other man on the site will have messaged her too. By the same token (and this applies mainly to women) always respond to interest, even if you don’t like him – it’s only polite.

Mr. Right: ‘I love you. And you. And you. And you…’

Mr. Wrong: ‘If you won’t marry me in the next ten minutes, I’m going to end it all.’

5. Thou Shalt Always Be Realistic
Messaging a glamour model whose interests include opera and fine dining and last whose boyfriend was the heir to the crown of Luxembourg? By all means give it a shot, but remember the aim of online dating is to set up a real face-to-face date – and if she doesn’t like your face when you turn up, you’ll be in for an embarrassing brush off. Normal rules of dating apply: go for those who are realistic and whom you feel you’ll genuinely click with.

Mr. Right: ‘I don’t have a private plane or a yacht, but if love was worth money I’d be a millionaire.’

Mr. Wrong: ‘Usually I date ugly girls but I thought I’d move up a level.’
6. Thou Shalt Not Be Blatant

If we’re honest, sexual satisfaction is right up there in terms of why people want to get married, yet just like in the real world, nothing gives a worse impression than admitting this situation, whether directly or indirectly: at best you’ll appear desperate, at worse a twisted sexual maniac. So be casual. Try to covertly steer conversation towards the more risque end of the spectrum, but never be obvious about it. Just because you’d be delighted if a stranger on a bus asked you about your deepest fantasies, not everyone else would.

Mr. Right: ‘I really like curling up with a good book and a hot water bottle, it’s even better when there’s a beautiful girl lying next to you…’

Mr. Wrong: ‘No sexual act is too foul or depraved for me. I’ll do literally anything’.
7. Thou Shalt Be Honest At All Times
This goes hand-in-hand with being realistic. By all means make the most of what you’ve got, jazz yourself up and inject a bit of spice into your CV – but don’t outright lie. Hopefully you’ll be meeting them in the not too distant future so claiming to be a 6′ 3″ bodybuilder, with a pilot’s licence and a wardrobe full of designer clothes will definitely backfire if you’re not a 6’ 3″ bodybuilder with a…

Mr. Right: ‘I’ve been told I have rugged good looks, but if I’m honest I’m looking for someone I can connect with emotionally as well as physically.’

Mr. Wrong: ‘I’m definitely not just looking for sex… what cup size did you say you were?’

8. Thou Shalt Be Witty And Concise

Avoid writing a novel when messaging a potential partner. Keep you messages short and sweet – this will encourage you to make the most of the words you do communicate, hopefully making you appear deeper and more witty. This also has the added benefit of giving you a certain mystique: as you should know, a large part of attraction is what is unsaid, so be suggestive and leave them hanging on.

Mr. Right: ‘I’m leaving for Paris early tomorrow so I’ll say goodnight. Wish you were here to tuck me in…’

Mr. Wrong: ‘…and then I went to the shop and said to the woman, do you have these in a size 10, and she said to me no, so I said why not, and she said to me she didn’t know, so I said do you have these in a size 11….’

9. Thou Shalt Always Stay Safe

It almost goes without saying, never arrange to meet anyone you don’t fully trust. If this means taking it slow and getting to know each other through email and phone conversations, than so be it. Your safety is of paramount concern, unless of course you want an episode of CSI to be based on your sorry little story.

Mr. Right: ‘I’m fine going at whatever speed your comfortable with.’

Mr. Wrong: ‘Meet me at the deserted warehouse at midnight.’

10. Thou Shalt Always Remember That The Online Dating World Is Only An Extension Of The Real World – Not Some Magical Kingdom Of Dreams
As long as you remember that online dating won’t necessarily introduce you to the man/woman of your dreams and that even if it did, you might not live happily ever after and even if you do, you’ll always have to live with the fact you met on the internet… than you’ll have a great time.

Mr. Right: ‘Behind the profile is a real man who feels and cares.’

Mr. Wrong: ‘With the click of a button we’ll all live happily ever after.’
** This article was written by Tom Davie, a student at Cambridge University.

MARRIAGE, WHAT HAS AGE GOT TO DO WITH IT?

WHAT HAS AGE GOT TO DO WITH THIS?
Age is one of the factor that need to be considered when choosing a life partners especially in this part of the world, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that the success of such relationship depends on age factor. If we say age is just a number , we wont be far from the truth and if we also says it matters, its not false as well. Research show that women who marrieds men who are a little bit older than them enjoy more tolerance, understanding and affection from such men, even though this might not be in all cases. Success in marriage depends largely on the level of understanding between couples as well as compatibility, Even if the wife is younger and there’s no understanding, that marriage might crash.

Just like i stated earlier, significantly older men tends to be more tolerance and could be more possessive sometimes as well. One cannot state the benefits and disadvantages categorically, but these few are trends that are common to such relationships/marriage:

  • Older men tends to be more tolerance and caring
  • Older men tend to be more possessive
  • Most time older women are more financially stable
  • Its difficult to command the needed respect to boost a man’s ego from an older woman in most cases.
  • There will be serious hurdles to cross in form of friends and family interference.

Marrying someone with significant age differences shouldn’t be a big deal, at least its not in the developed world, but the fact remains that African has not developed to that level, a lot of people will frown at it and mount pressure that might start choking the relationship/marriage.

To enter into this kind of relationship/marriage, there are few questions one should ask:

  • What is the motive? Are you entering that relationship because you are in love and will like to spend the resort of your life with that man/woman or you are doing it for material gain. If the motive is wrong the marriage will not survive. If the foundation be destroyed, what can anyone do?
  • Are you ready to live with the consequences of your action? If you find yourself in a function where your friends spouses are almost their age, will you still be happy to flaunt your partner without feeling ashamed. You must be ready to stand by your decisions and see your choice as the best irrespective of what anyone thinks or says, if not there will be crises.
  • Culturally or religiously speaking, the man remains the head of the family and not the other way round, as a woman, if you are dating or marrying a younger man, are you willing to respect him irrespective?

When it comes to the issue of ideal age gap between partners, there’s no one size fits all, or one age fits all. What works for couple A might not work for couple B, in as much as there is understanding and compatibility age remains a factor. But one should also consider the number of years especially when the older is a woman, 10 years and above might be way to high for a man who wants to be respected by his wife, even in the developed world, some people will still frown at outrageous age gap in such cases.

I always counsel couples in this situation that they should keep their little secret to themselves as much as possible, the less people that knows about their age differences the better for them. Having a wonderful marriage is not age dependent though it could be a factor, what matters is compatibility, understanding and the determination to make it work.

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