Tongues has started wailing, people are already looking at you whenever you are passing, your parents are on your case and it look as if singleness is now sickness. You don’t seems to be happy anymore and it’s as if every other good thing in your life does not count, all you need to be fulfilled is settle down and get a man. You look at yourself in the mirror and spot a small fine line under your eyes, “now I’m having wrinkles” you said to yourself, it’s as if your world has stopped moving all because you want to change your status from single to married, no thanks to the society we live in. You don’t even care at this point, any man will do for you, you just want to be address with the prefix MRS and that’s all that matters.
And for the male folks, probably you get worried when your friends children call you uncle or whenever your parents called and ask when you are going to give them a grandchild. Maybe, people in your vicinity has started asking questions about your sexuality and you are not comfortable with being single.
As a professional counselor and matchmaker, even though i might not be able to understand your feelings, I can relate with what you are going through, and experience has thought me that most time, you are the reason why you are still single, maybe, just maybe there are things you are not doing right, check out these few points, I think it might help you find your feet.
1. Unreasonable expectations:
It baffles me when I listen to the quality some ladies needed in their man, he must be tall, dark, handsome, God fairing, caring, loving, lanky, straight fingers, clean, bla bla…. It’s good to desire good things, but while desiring all these qualities, it is paramount to understand that nobody is perfect. When people walk in to my office for matchmaking and they started listing some unreasonable expectations, I make them realize that, they should consider the fact that they are not perfect before searching for a perfect spouse.
The men these days are not helping matters either, you want a rich girl that can provide for you while you fold your arms, that is trying tot change the natural cause of things and in fact any marriage built on that will not last. She must be tall, fair, straight legs, big boobs, big ass etc, stuffs like these are good but shouldn’t be the foundation on which your marriage will be built.
When you set expectations that are outrageous for yourself, getting the right person to meet such expectations become an issue. So if you feel you should have been married but you are still single against your wish, maybe you need to review your expectations and understand that just the way it is in economics, when it comes to choosing a life partner, there should be scale of preference, you must have your opportunity cost and alternative forgone.
2. Overrating you:
I am so beautiful, I can have any man of my choice, if it doesn’t work out with this one, another guy will always come…. These are reasons why so many gets to the black market before realizing it was too late, you need to understand the Yoruba adage that says “ile obinrin kinpesu”, meaning that it’s advisable for young ladies to make hay while the sun shine.
Some men also feel they are the all in all, after all I’m so handsome, i have a good job, and i can get any lady i want, this can keep unnecessarily single than usual
Do not overrate yourself and loose a good man; a mistake that that is keeping so many ladies in their parents’ home.
3. Spiritual confusion:
I didn’t love him, but God says I should marry him. I remember counseling a 40 years old successful career woman, she actually came to my office to register for matchmaking, her excuse for getting married late was that, God chose for her a man he felt nothing for and told her not to marry the man she cared about. I told her, this is not possible because God is not an author of confusion. When it come to the issue of whom to marry, apart from the leading of the Holy Spirit, you are totally responsible for your action. This is not the time of Adam and Eve when Adam complained to God that he was misled by the woman He gave to him, today you can’t shift blame on God or anyone, you will face the consequences of your action, that is why the word of God says he that finds a wife finds a good thing, you must do the finding with the help of Holy Spirit to obtain the favor that follows. Do not get caught up in the web of spiritual confusion, if not you will be 40 before you realize what is going on. It is good to seek the face of God and the leading of the Holy Spirit, but running from pillar to post in the name of spiritual guidance will tie you down unnecessarily.
I WILL BE GLAD TO READ YOUR CONTRIBUTIONS, WHY DO YOU THINK PEOPLE ARE SINGLE AGAINST THEIR WISH? …….YOU CAN GET THE COMPLETE DVD OF THIS ARTICLE AT: http://intimatesolutionnetwork.com/new/?post_type=product